guess what? I know the heimlich maneuver!

Or at least, some semblance of it, as I managed to keep my kid from choking to death this afternoon.


Guess what else? Clifford Fruit Snacks, the most delicious of their kind, should apparently not be fed to anyone who doesn't have a full set of adult teeth. They are gummier than most and contain one piece that is the width of a nickel, and a good half inch thick. I guess I should have known better in the first place, but Tristan has always eaten the Sesame Street Fruit Snacks without any problem, so I thought that the much yummier Clifford snacks would be fine as well. What a stupid mommy am I.


It should be noted that John then bitched and stomped off because I wanted him to make dinner (instead of going outside to do some sort of important man thing, like moving rocks) while I comforted our freaked out, hysterical little boy in front of his favorite movie. When I said, "John, our kid just almost choked to death," he looked at me like I was a complete idiot and replied, "He did NOT almost choke to death, he was just CHO-KING. If he was choking for like five minutes, THEN he would have almost choked to death." Then I looked at him like HE was the idiot (and an asshole):"If he was choking for five minutes, HE'D BE DEAD."


"I know!! And that's why he wasn't choking to death!!"


"You weren't even THERE."


And he WASN'T. He didn't see the look on the poor baby's face or hear the horrible sound that I heard coming from his throat. The non-sound of something horribly, horribly wrong.


We also got into a fight last night, because I want a pair of kittens, and he says no more kittens. Then he said I don't respect him, and I can't always have what I want, and this is his house too. Then I got online and went to one of my mommy message boards, where I found out that one of the mommies had gone into preterm labor with her second child. Her first daughter. She weighed less than a pound, was about 8 and a half inches long, and lived for twenty minutes.


It has been a bad weekend.