I have now officially declared that my cold has progressed and mutated into a new disease called the Mexican Barking SARS. I can barely cough at all anymore, and when I do, it sounds like the pathetic cry of an angry chihuahua. Yife! Yife!

I should also mention that I have no voice left, and when I try to speak it comes out sounding like the dying plea of an 86-year-old emphysema patient. And no, I don't think that's funny. My gramma died of emphysema. So quit smoking, you stupid fuck.