Just for my sweet Delicious Young Prince, I give you three Alanis songs about Dave Coulier. Please throw your money into the guitar case over there. --->

"Will to Live"

I feel miserable
Hockey players make me ill
I feel miserable
Washed up comedians tear at my foundations
I feel miserable
Stupid jokes are dragging me down to the depths of misery
I want to die

Is it because of Dave Coulier that I feel this way?
With the pink rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Or am I lost in tale of Janis Joplin, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Dave Coulier Broke My Will to Live
Dave Coulier Broke My Will to Live
Dave Coulier Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Dave Coulier Broke My Will to Live

I feel miserable
Full House episodes rot the flesh from my bones
I feel miserable
Chipmunk puppets defeat my purpose
I feel miserable
Those goddamn Olsen Twins are doing their best to impale my soul
I want to die

Is it because of Dave Coulier that I feel this way?
With the pink rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Am I lost in tale of Janis Joplin, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Dave Coulier Broke My Will to Live
Dave Coulier Broke My Will to Live
Oh God, Dave Coulier Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Dave Coulier Broke My Will to Live

"I Think"

I Think hockey players are really a huge problem
I Think washed up comedians are too much on my mind
I Think stupid jokes have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
But what can you do?

Like a pink rain, beating down on me
Like a Janis Joplin line, which won't let go of my brain
Like Dave Coulier's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on Dave Coulier
Blame it on Dave Coulier
Blame it on Dave Coulier

I Think Full House episodes are gonna drive us all crazy
And chipmunk puppets make me feel like a child
I Think those goddamned Olsen Twins will eventually be the downfall of civilization
But what can you do? I said what can you do?

Like a pink rain, beating down on me
Like a Janis Joplin line, which won't let go of my brain
Like Dave Coulier's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on Dave Coulier
Blame it on Dave Coulier
Blame it on Dave Coulier

Like a pink rain, beating down on me
Like Dave Coulier's smile, cruel and cold
Like Janis Joplin's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on Dave Coulier
Blame it on Dave Coulier
Blame it on Dave Coulier

"Why"

Hockey players, washed up comedians, stupid jokes
Why God, Why?
Washed up comedians, Full House episodes, Dave Coulier
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this pink horror?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Dave Coulier
Like a Janis Joplin character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Chipmunk puppets, hockey players, those goddamned Olsen Twins
Why God, Why?
Dave Coulier, those goddamned Olsen Twins, stupid jokes
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this pink disaster that is my life?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Dave Coulier
Like a Janis Joplin character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this pink misery?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Dave Coulier
Like a Janis Joplin character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?