The other day, a guy at my husband's job got pissed off at a co-worker and threw away all of the magazines he had left lying around. One of them happened to belong to my husband (to ME, actually, but that's another column for another day), so he grabbed it out of the trash. He also grabbed a Playboy that was in there, because hey, free Playboy!

So inside, we found some stupid story, in which there were a lot of references to a woman's anus. But they didn't say "anus", of course; it was "bung" this and "dirt hole" that.

1. Who in the fuck would ever say "Oh baby, finger my dirt hole"?

2. "Ass" sounds a lot hotter

3. If my back door is my "dirt hole", is the front one my "fish hole"? My "baby hole"? My "rag bag"?

I issue my readership a challenge. Let's think of more stupid euphemisms for bodily orifices!