Things I Am Learning

I was meant to have red hair.

My belly is CUTE. No, really.

I look really good in lavender.

I do NOT look really good in ivory.

Fudgesicles may be the only thing that taste better with Nutrasweet instead of Sugar.

I need a girlfriend.

You can broil chicken! It's good that way!!

I should breastfeed.

Prozac and birth control pills are poison; chocolate is not.

Ulcers suck.

Scars are so cool. I don't even NEED a tattoo.

Extremely callused feet make for a pleasant walk in the gravel.

Being married is hard, hard work.

Being a parent makes everything harder.

People need sleep.

Pizza is sooooooo good.