Sucks. I'm sooooo tired. I went to bed two and a half hours ago, but got up at 12:30, because obviously, I was still awake. I HATE that, because it's like, I completely wasted SO much time. I wasn't sleeping, and I wasn't getting anything done either... hey, kinda like now! Well, whaddaya know. I want to go eat some Chocula, but I'm not sure if it's cause I'm hungry, or just cause I'm depressed. There is sooooo much to do this week... yesterday we went to get Tristan's pictures done, which was almost a total bust. Even though they usually manage to fuck *something* up, and you never get in until at LEAST a half-hour after your appointment, I chose to again give The Picture People my business. I'm sure you can already figure out where this is going, can't you? There is this really, REALLY weird lady who works there. She kind of seems mentally challenged in some way, she's loud and has some kind of weird speech impediment thing where you can barely understand her (not to mention her voice is nails-on-the-chalkboard cloying [okay, so nails on the chalkboard don't bother me personally in the least - it's a good analogy, anyway] ), and - the MOST ANNOYING THING - she calls every female "Mom".
That's right, when me and John went in a few years ago to have "couple pictures" done, I heard a lady who kept saying "Okay, Mom, now if you could just come over here and fill this out, MOM, Oh hang on MOM, we're very busy, MOM." At first I thought she was talking to her OWN mother, then I was like, Oh, I get it - she's talking to the Mom of the group, you know, like "Dad, sit over here, Mom, stand next to him, Kids, you sit on the floor in front of them." I can handle that, I thought. That's somewhat normal. But then I went up to the desk to ask how much longer it would be, as we'd already been waiting for an hour, and she said....... "JUST A MINUTE, MOM, AND I'LL GO SEE, OK, MOM?!?" I was dumbfounded. Did I *look* like a mom? Was someone else's kid hanging onto my leg? Is there a head hanging out of my skirt? ...... Anyway, she didn't photograph us that day (which, did I mention, was the SECOND time we had been there in two weeks, because the first set of pictures we had done was COMPLETELY out of focus?!), this really pretty young chick did. But, her pictures were boring and sucked. The first time we went, the chick did all kinds of Fun Christmas Poses, with Santa hats and fake presents and so much mistletoe. This time, when we had Miss Stephy, she was like, okay, you sit here and he sits there. *SNAP* Okay, now switch places... *SNAP* Great. Now, go back the way you were before. *SNAP* I'm exaggerating a bit - she IS, after all, the one responsible for our famous "piggyback-ride photo" - but anyway, I was not too impressed. Fast forward a year or so... we take our 6-week-old kid to get his first pictures. *Please please please don't let us get the annoying lady* "OKAY, MOM, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND GO IN THE BIG ROOM IN THE BACK! I'LL BE RIGHT IN, MOM!" But man, that woman took one HELL of a picture. Or five of them, to be exact. Set us back almost $200.
Which brings me to yesterday. Tristan was being a big crank for some reason, and John and I were both incredibly stressed out due to a combination of no sleep + fighting all weekend. And who do we get for our photographer? Why, it's PRINCESS STEPHY! She of the pleasant demeanor and the boring, boring photo. And she certainly did prove herself... she did four "different" shots of Tristan laying in a beanbag chair. I use the term "different" very loosely, as the only thing different about each pose was his outfit and the color of the blanket on the beanbag chair. When she pulled down the hideous fake-clouds background, I wanted to cry right then and there. Tristybean finally chilled out toward the end, and there was a cute shot of his face while his daddy was ticklin' his toeses. Then we did a family pic, and went to walk around the mall. That was fun - I bought Tristan a few things and John didn't even yell at me. Woo! Anyway, long story short (hahaha, right), we went back to the picture place, there was only one good shot, and NO family picture. I'm like, um, we had a family picture done, where is it? So the chick who brought out our pictures goes up to the desk and all quiet-like goes, "Ummm, do you know what happened with their family picture?" And LoudMouth CuntWhore in the Technicolor Dream-Beanie goes, "OH, THAT WAS THE ONE WHERE IT WAS THE END OF THE ROLL AND IT DIDN'T COME OUT!" I am like, "what", just totally dead-on serious because I am SO pissed, this is like in the top 5 worst days of my life. Well, maybe not, I'll try those at the end... So real loud I say, "Well, that really sucks" and LMCH says (shouts),"IT'S NOT THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S FAULT, SHE HAS NO WAY OF KNOWING WHEN THE ROLL IS GOING TO END" I'm like, "well, that doesn't make me feel any better!" Jesus Christ, is this ROCKET SCIENCE? I don't know what kind of fancy-ass cameras they're using, but I know when I'm out of film, my little Advantix camera sure does let me know. Hell, even the 110 I had when I was a kid would stop when the roll was done. So anyway, I got a coupon for next time. Fortunately, the one photo that did come out is SUPER adorable...
Click here to see the picture that made the day worthwhile...
That's right, when me and John went in a few years ago to have "couple pictures" done, I heard a lady who kept saying "Okay, Mom, now if you could just come over here and fill this out, MOM, Oh hang on MOM, we're very busy, MOM." At first I thought she was talking to her OWN mother, then I was like, Oh, I get it - she's talking to the Mom of the group, you know, like "Dad, sit over here, Mom, stand next to him, Kids, you sit on the floor in front of them." I can handle that, I thought. That's somewhat normal. But then I went up to the desk to ask how much longer it would be, as we'd already been waiting for an hour, and she said....... "JUST A MINUTE, MOM, AND I'LL GO SEE, OK, MOM?!?" I was dumbfounded. Did I *look* like a mom? Was someone else's kid hanging onto my leg? Is there a head hanging out of my skirt? ...... Anyway, she didn't photograph us that day (which, did I mention, was the SECOND time we had been there in two weeks, because the first set of pictures we had done was COMPLETELY out of focus?!), this really pretty young chick did. But, her pictures were boring and sucked. The first time we went, the chick did all kinds of Fun Christmas Poses, with Santa hats and fake presents and so much mistletoe. This time, when we had Miss Stephy, she was like, okay, you sit here and he sits there. *SNAP* Okay, now switch places... *SNAP* Great. Now, go back the way you were before. *SNAP* I'm exaggerating a bit - she IS, after all, the one responsible for our famous "piggyback-ride photo" - but anyway, I was not too impressed. Fast forward a year or so... we take our 6-week-old kid to get his first pictures. *Please please please don't let us get the annoying lady* "OKAY, MOM, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND GO IN THE BIG ROOM IN THE BACK! I'LL BE RIGHT IN, MOM!" But man, that woman took one HELL of a picture. Or five of them, to be exact. Set us back almost $200.
Which brings me to yesterday. Tristan was being a big crank for some reason, and John and I were both incredibly stressed out due to a combination of no sleep + fighting all weekend. And who do we get for our photographer? Why, it's PRINCESS STEPHY! She of the pleasant demeanor and the boring, boring photo. And she certainly did prove herself... she did four "different" shots of Tristan laying in a beanbag chair. I use the term "different" very loosely, as the only thing different about each pose was his outfit and the color of the blanket on the beanbag chair. When she pulled down the hideous fake-clouds background, I wanted to cry right then and there. Tristybean finally chilled out toward the end, and there was a cute shot of his face while his daddy was ticklin' his toeses. Then we did a family pic, and went to walk around the mall. That was fun - I bought Tristan a few things and John didn't even yell at me. Woo! Anyway, long story short (hahaha, right), we went back to the picture place, there was only one good shot, and NO family picture. I'm like, um, we had a family picture done, where is it? So the chick who brought out our pictures goes up to the desk and all quiet-like goes, "Ummm, do you know what happened with their family picture?" And LoudMouth CuntWhore in the Technicolor Dream-Beanie goes, "OH, THAT WAS THE ONE WHERE IT WAS THE END OF THE ROLL AND IT DIDN'T COME OUT!" I am like, "what", just totally dead-on serious because I am SO pissed, this is like in the top 5 worst days of my life. Well, maybe not, I'll try those at the end... So real loud I say, "Well, that really sucks" and LMCH says (shouts),"IT'S NOT THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S FAULT, SHE HAS NO WAY OF KNOWING WHEN THE ROLL IS GOING TO END" I'm like, "well, that doesn't make me feel any better!" Jesus Christ, is this ROCKET SCIENCE? I don't know what kind of fancy-ass cameras they're using, but I know when I'm out of film, my little Advantix camera sure does let me know. Hell, even the 110 I had when I was a kid would stop when the roll was done. So anyway, I got a coupon for next time. Fortunately, the one photo that did come out is SUPER adorable...
posted by Tina Bean at
1:51 AM
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