Every time I check my email, it seems like I'm accosted by the same two god damned banner ads. And because I want you all to share in my pain joy, I present them here, with a few minor modifications.
Yes, that truly is an ad for Match.com. I disabled the "go" button, but look, I linked you anyway. See what a nice girl I am? That blue space on the bottom was filled with a bunch of drop-down menus before, but I think my version is much better. And doesn't that guy look like his name is Chet? Because that's what you'd call it if Scott Wolf and Jay Leno had a turd baby.
WOO! Women have Vigel!! I assume that's Vye-Jel, though it looks like "vigg-ul" to this native English speaker. First of all, if that chick's face was any more flat, it'd be Debra Messing's chest. Secondly, why are they using a sexually attractive young woman in this ad, anyway? Wouldn't that make more sense in an ad targeted to men, a la "Get this hot girl NOW!"? Or are we supposed to believe that either [A] 22 year old chicks need this stuff or [B] you will FEEL like a 22 year old chick while using it? I scoff at this logic. Most women my age (according to the media, whom I wholeheartedly believe 100% of the time) actually have negative feelings toward advertising that uses "prettier than you, therefore better than you" girls to sell shit. Maybe that's why this ad intrigues me so much, though I like to think it's just my background in semiotics that fuels me. Anyway... I admit it. I had to see *what* exactly this Vigel was, so I clicked. I believe the URL it took me to was FemaleAdvantage.com, and it turns out that Vigel is a topical gel (why am I not surprised?) whose main ingredient appears to be.... PEPPERMINT. Though I can see why this might sound like a good idea (think IcyHot), there is no way in HELL I will ever be putting peppermint on my nether regions (think IcyHot in your eye.)
Yes, that truly is an ad for Match.com. I disabled the "go" button, but look, I linked you anyway. See what a nice girl I am? That blue space on the bottom was filled with a bunch of drop-down menus before, but I think my version is much better. And doesn't that guy look like his name is Chet? Because that's what you'd call it if Scott Wolf and Jay Leno had a turd baby.
WOO! Women have Vigel!! I assume that's Vye-Jel, though it looks like "vigg-ul" to this native English speaker. First of all, if that chick's face was any more flat, it'd be Debra Messing's chest. Secondly, why are they using a sexually attractive young woman in this ad, anyway? Wouldn't that make more sense in an ad targeted to men, a la "Get this hot girl NOW!"? Or are we supposed to believe that either [A] 22 year old chicks need this stuff or [B] you will FEEL like a 22 year old chick while using it? I scoff at this logic. Most women my age (according to the media, whom I wholeheartedly believe 100% of the time) actually have negative feelings toward advertising that uses "prettier than you, therefore better than you" girls to sell shit. Maybe that's why this ad intrigues me so much, though I like to think it's just my background in semiotics that fuels me. Anyway... I admit it. I had to see *what* exactly this Vigel was, so I clicked. I believe the URL it took me to was FemaleAdvantage.com, and it turns out that Vigel is a topical gel (why am I not surprised?) whose main ingredient appears to be.... PEPPERMINT. Though I can see why this might sound like a good idea (think IcyHot), there is no way in HELL I will ever be putting peppermint on my nether regions (think IcyHot in your eye.)
posted by Tina Bean at
1:01 AM
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