male celebrities I think are hott

I am SO into guys lately. So in no particular order, I bring you my slender, foppish favorites....


1. Ethan Embry. Oh, delicious yumminess. I love everything about this guy, including the fact that he reminds me so so much of my friend Alex, who I never did get to sleep with, but still want to. They both have a lisp!! Purrrrrr........

2. John Mayer. I admit it - I've never listened to a lick of the guy's music. Apparently he's "critically acclaimed", though. Not to mention, quite a piece of eye candy.

3. Josh Duhamel. This guy used to be on my very favorite soap, All My Children, along with Hott Boy #4, Cameron Mathison. I also have some very, very tasteful (and by tasteful, I mean YUMMMMMY) nudes of him in a book that A Delicious Young Prince got me for my 21st birthday, As I See It by famed homo photog Greg Gorman. Thank you again, dear Prince!!

4. Cameron Mathison. Another AMC alum. Look at those cheekbones. Cameron was an International Male underwear model before he was on All My Children, but he's a surprisingly good actor. No, really. Ya gotta believe me.

5. Mark McGrath. While we're on the spiky-haired hottie kick, let's not forget delectable Sugar Ray frontman Mark McGrath. My god, what I would do to this guy. But he did date Carmen Electra, so I'd probably make him wear a condom. Two condoms. A tarp?

6. Jim Adkins. The singer from Jimmy Eat World. SOHOT! Ohhhh, that baby face. And the 1995 hair... hey, Jimmy, howsabout you take your lips away from that microphone for a minute and put them on my *censored*

7. Michael Stipe. It's true: I have a thing for balding, AIDS-patient looking guys. Michael Stipe has the most beautiful eyes of ever forever. When I was little, I was certain I would marry him - I had no idea he was playing for the home team. And now? Well, now I think that just makes him SO MUCH HOTTER. Because the only thing I love more than girl-on girl action, is guy-on-guy action. Oral, not anal. Mmmmmm, oral.

8. Gordon Downie. This Tragically Hip frontman is basically the Canadian Michael Stipe, though he was a lot hotter about ten years ago before he put on all that weight. But then again, so was I. I couldn't find a picture of either one of us from back then.

9. Davey Von Bohlen. Rounding out the Triad of Bald Rock Heroes is the genius behind my favorite band ever, The (now-defunct) Promise Ring. To watch Davey perform is to come in your panties. I know the pic is crappy, but it's the best I could do - Davey's on the far right, looking all mysterious. *licks lips*

10. Ryan Phillipe. I think I might be spelling his name wrong, but who cares? And I'm not sure what's up with that pic, but you all know what he looks like anyway, and I love love love him in the glasses. Love him. I first saw Ryan on One Life to Live when I was maybe 12, and he was playing The Soaps' First Ever Gay Teen. And you know what gay teens do to me.

11. Topher Grace. Topher Grace is one of my very favorite hot boys, and this is MY FAVORITE PICTURE of him. Just in case this site is a free geocities site that doesn't let you link directly to an image, here is the link to the webpage it is on. Oh my goodness, Topher Grace, please will you be my bride? I already have a husband, but it's cool. You can live under the bed.

12. Julian Casablancas. Julian sings with the Strokes. Julian's daddy owns one of the largest modeling agencies in the world. Julian needs to be naked in pictures. Someone tell Julian's daddy.

13. Alton Brown. Not only is Alton thin and balding, but he wears those stylin' emo glasses *and* he has a BUTT CHIN!! I want to stick my index finger between his chin-cheeks and tickle, tickle, tickle. Although, I *am* a little concerned about what he intends to do to me with that mixer. I hope and pray that we're only making cookies....

14. Rivers. Cuomo. Rivers has it ALL. The glasses. The eyes. The pseudo-semi-pompadour, and a facial structure that rivals the Roman Gods. My husband looks an AWFUL lot like this incarnation of Rivers Cuomo, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I'll tell you straight up: I DO NOT LIKE IT IN THE BUTT. But if Rivers asked me, I think I would let him. Oh yes. But only if you sing me "Butterfly" while we do it.

15. David Duchovny. I'm not sure what is so unnatural about him, but this was quite a lovely photo in spite of the odd caption, so I decided to go with it. I think I'm way hotter than his wife, but that's just me.

16. Craig Kilborn. OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM IN THOSE GLASSES!!!! Super excellent thanks to A Delicious Young Prince for finding this picture for me. OH! MY! GOD! LOOK! AT! HIM! IN! THOSE! GLASSES!!!!!!!

17. Noah Wyle. Of course I love Noah on ER, but you know what I actually thought he was hottest in? Pirates of Silicon Valley. Noah must have PERFECT 20/20 vision, because I couldn't find a single pic of him in glasses. The bastid. Doesn't he know how hot they make me?

18. J. Keith Van Straaten. And for your viewing pleasure, that's my very favorite photo of him with the very hottest Girl Celeb, Lisa Loeb. So much Glasses Action. J. Keith was the SHIT on Beat The Geeks; now, Beat The Geeks is just, well, SHIT.

19. Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy is SO HOT, ESPECIALLY in his glasses. I couldn't find a single decent glasses pic, though. If you have one, let me know. I might even pay you. Seriously.

20. SPECIAL CLASSIC HOTTIE: Gordon Gano, circa 1982. I wouldn't touch this creep with a 59 1/2 foot pole now, but when their self-titled album was released, Gordon was so scrumptiously fey. I can just picture him, scribbling the lyrics to "Please Do Not Go" in his Mead Classic notebook, then double-fisting his johnson under the covers. Which would later beget everyone's favorite party tune (groan), "Blister in the Sun."


So there we have it. Twenty hot guys. I'd give you more, but damn, am I ever tired of typing this. Rock on.